After The Apocalypse

Part 1 — My Apocalypse Diary

2-4-2044 aka Day 1

Wow. Crazy week. First, three exams in three days. Then today, the apocalypse started. So I decided to write my experiences down in this diary. I feel like it will help my mental state. I'm pretty scared today. I was at college today in the student union. The news was on the TV. Suddenly, a bulletin comes on, Government Confirms Zombies Exist. Chronic Wasting Disease has evolved from a deer to a human virus. A newscaster came onto the screen, she seemed distressed. I can't blame her. The newscaster told us to evacuate the city. My family is here. They're leaving with me. Where were the warning signs? I was told not to pack but you're dead wrong if you think I'm leaving my arsenal here. I have knives, hammers, a machete, among other weapons. I can bring it all and I will. They want us out of the LA area as soon as humanly possible. We have to beat the traffic. As if we were just going to work in the morning. I'm just glad my family is here with me.

2-5-2044 Day 2

We didn't get out in time. We got on the freeway out of the city, and it was moving okay at first. But then we quit moving. Something was going on ahead of us. I didn't want to consider our options at the time, but since my dad was in the driver's seat, I didn't have to. We stayed at a standstill for two hours. Everyone around us was getting out of their cars and walking up and down the freeway. My dad asked them what they saw. A woman answered, and she said, “It just looks like the apocalypse out there.” We had nowhere to go. We had to get off the freeway. I can't bring it all and I guess I won't. I have to choose the right weapons, and I'm not even sure what we're up against. Update in the morning.

2-6-2044 Day 3

This morning was crazy, not like everything hasn't been crazy for the past three days. But still. We stayed in the car, but it was too cold when we woke up. My dad said we should all get out and run laps around the car. My mom and sister raced around without a care in the world. I'm still sitting here, processing everything that's happened. No zombies where we are…yet. I'm scared. Today we will have to get out of this freeway. Where did everyone else go?

We decided this afternoon to start walking. To where? We have no clue. We are running low on supplies. My phone is dead, and so are we.

2-7-2044 Day 4

We found food! I was scared. We needed it badly. We found a broken-down food truck further out of town. I'm tired. How do I find hope here? I have been lucky enough to have avoided zombie confrontation until now. I've seen them trudging by. They seem so calm. I can't imagine them coming after me. I don't know what I'd do. I'd run, of course. But would I fight? I don't know.

2-8-2044 Day 5

We had our first encounter with the zombies today. They're not the usual zombies. Do you know that “rigor mortis” thing from the movies, slowing them down? Yeah, that's not real. They are like animals: slowly walk up to you, and then when you run, they run. They have sunken eyes, blood dripping down their exposed teeth. Some of them had bellies burst out from eating too much. They eat until they explode and have no real digestive system. I didn't see more of them because we all ran. They ran after us. The scariest thing I've ever experienced. My dad ended up having to fight them off. He got a lot of bites, but we threw rocks to distract them and got him away.

2-9-2044 Day 6

My dad died protecting us. As he fell on top of me, protecting me, his blood poured out on me. It covered me. The zombies swarmed as I crawled out from under his lifeless body. They devoured him behind me. I got up and walked into the herd. I saw the awful irony in that they all ignored me now. They could smell his blood on me. The blood of a dead man. I can't write too much at the moment. It's just too painful.

2-10-2044 Day 7

We found an old abandoned asylum. It's a big place with solid walls; just gotta clear out the undead from it. Upper and lower levels, we might be able to do something with that. We were running through the countryside when we saw the big gates. The entire place was abandoned. There were squatters at one point, but now they lay lifeless at our feet. An outcome of their own doing. I got the perimeter secure. No zombies inside the walls. We closed the gate immediately. It was very heavy. Good for defense, but horrible if we need to flee.

2-11-2044 Day 8

He's onto us. He's on our trail. He has an army of zombies. He's going to kill us all.

The Maker, that's what he calls himself. A Maker of zombies, Maker of mayhem, Maker of problems. To be honest, I read something similar to this title in a book years ago. This girl was completely controlled by her mother until her mother died. A sad story with a morbid ending. I wish I had my mom. She's a mess right now. So mentally gone without my dad that she hasn't been sleeping. So tired she's delusional. I'm right there with you, mom. But we can't do this right now. We have to flee. It's always about fleeing. Running. Going and going well past burnout. I can't live like this much longer. Then again, with the creator on our trail, I might not have to. Maker of destruction. Maker of death. I'm scared he will find our asylum.

2-12-2044 Day 9

My worst nightmare happened. The Maker found us. We had to flee. I just want to feel happy again. I want to listen to my peppy music. I want to sing in a hot shower. The closest I get is a bitter haze of tears. I miss food.

2-13-2044 Day 10

My sister is crazy. I'm mostly grounded, helping my mom. My sister stays up all night, watching over us. I woke up in the dead of the night yesterday. Instead of alerting me or my mom, I witnessed my sister stab a zombie in the eye. She burst its eyeball, juice getting everywhere. It collapsed immediately. I've never been more grateful that my sister is on my side.

2-14-2044 Day 11

You know what? Fuck this. I don't care about my environment anymore. I'm going to be happy goddammit. I'm going to fight through this war with my sister and my mom. They're here. I am grateful. I am lucky to still have them here. I'm going to survive, no matter what it takes.

2-15-2044 Day 12

Another run-in with The Maker. He and his ego always get in our way. He brings these armed goons to wherever there's food and he blocks anyone from getting necessities. He brings zombies with him, chained up. I don't know why or how he always has zombies at his side. There's something wrong here. He's monopolizing supplies. Where did this guy come from? Why is everyone so scared of him? He's threatening for sure. But he seems… I guess… like a normal guy. I can't see much past his goons, but I see a short white man with a baby face and glasses. He always has a girl at his side. This guy has beaten everyone into letting him be the top dog, somehow. I don't know how. He's so little. Wild.

2-16-2044 Day 13

Lucky day 13 I suppose. We made allies today. A boy, Hickory, and his mother, Mildred. He is 23, his mom is 44. I guess I can't call him a boy. I am also around that age. I don't think of myself as an adult. I feel like I am, I just forget sometimes. I have to be an adult now. I don't have a choice. I have to be there for my family, and now these two new people. We found them hiding in a train station. They seem like good people. I don't trust them yet, but my mom is already bonding with the boy's mom. I don't have room for any more people to help. I get attached just like my mom. Mostly because of what happened to my dad. We'll see how these two work out. I'm not holding my breath. I will not get attached. I will not bond.

2-17-2044 Day 14

I bonded. The boy is so innocent. So defenseless. He reminds me of myself before I learned how to survive. I want to teach him how to defend himself so I don't have to lose him or his mother. Just in case we get separated. I didn't want to get attached. I'm just too soft. Strange coming from someone who is successfully surviving the apocalypse. I personally haven't killed anyone or any zombie. I think zombie isn't the right term for them. Zombie applies to slow, decaying brain-eaters. These decaying monsters run like hell. They don't seem to want to eat us. I don't know why. How does this spread? I'll probably call them harbingers. They are harbingers of death. They're so violent. They want us dead. Why?

2-18-2044 Day 15

I killed my first harb today. My sister was fending them off from our camp and I had no idea. I was out gathering food and firewood. The harbs were overpowering the camp when I got back. I yelled and screamed at them, calling them toward me. I ran, and I'm fast. I climbed a tree, and they kept coming. I still have my machete. I sliced all their heads off. It felt natural. Like I was made for the apocalypse. One, then the next, then on and on. I didn't count. I was freaking out, and I threw up afterward. I don't know what came over me. I was brave, like my dad. Only smarter. Sorry dad. Love you.

2-19-2044 Day 16

I'm going after the Maker. I know he has something to do with the harbs. I need to know. I need to figure this mystery out. I need to know what he knows. I can't take anyone with me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to them. I have to do this alone. I can do it. I can figure it out. I'm quiet, I can sneak inside. If I say I can do this enough times, maybe I'll believe it. I have to do this for my family. I can't let them be murdered. I'm going to follow the Maker’s trucks. They're wherever I go to get food, so it should be easy.

2-20-2044 Day 17

I followed the Maker’s caravan. I snuck onto one truck without anyone seeing. At least I hope they didn't. They were all jamming to Blondie. Although I enjoyed myself a good “tide is high,” I wasn't feeling it. How do these guys bounce along to the music, when they go around pillaging and raiding? I couldn't do that sort of thing. We got to wherever it was we were going. I stayed hidden so I couldn't see exactly where we were. They parked the trucks and I snuck out of my hiding spot. I snuck into the first building I saw. Inside I see the Maker. He's alone. Wait, not quite. What are those shadows? He is feeding… harbs? What's he feeding them? He's taking up all the food for the harbs? Why? He's alone, anyway. The harbs are in cages. I'm going in.

Update: I punched him in the face. I am capable of violence, but I didn't know I could punch a grown man out. The one thing I learned growing up: don't let them get off the ground. As he was getting up I kicked him in the teeth. He went back down. He tried getting up a third time. I grabbed his neck in a headlock and slammed him into the ground. That kept him down. I suddenly felt scared. Where were the guards he said were on their way? I ran. This wasn't the plan. Where did I go wrong?

The newest update: I am trying to escape this dungeon. I don't even know where I am for sure. All I know is I have to get answers and get out. The Maker wasn't very offering of his information, even when body slammed. Oh God, the harbs are after me. If they catch me, I'd be better off dead.

Updated update: I'm going to hole out in this hiding spot until it gets dark. Hopefully harbs can't smell me. I may or may not escape ASAP. I need to find out how he controls the dead. How he makes the harbs. It will solve this whole epidemic.

2-21-2044 Day 18

I stayed hidden until dark, then I came out of my hiding place. I decided not to look around. I had to leave before they found me, they were still searching. It's a big base. A huge stable with 7-foot fences around it. There was a big gate, and outside was another yard full of harbs. They didn't seem to like the goons but the Maker walked right through the crowd. I'm leaving, but I've already decided that I will be back. I need to know more about what he's doing in that base. I know he has something to do with the harbs. They obey him, most of the time. I wonder if I could get them to turn against him. The only way to know is if I try. I'll be b—

2-22-2044 Day 19

I made it back to camp. Everyone was pissed that I ran away. There's nothing I can do about that, Mom. Then they started arguing with her. Everyone in camp was ganging up on me and Mom. “Don't talk to my mom like that, I'll put you to the ground. For real.” They knew I'd do it too. They've seen me fight. My sister, the badass, decided to step in and calm everyone down with only seven words. “You all would have done it too.” We all knew she was right. If everyone knew how to fight like my sister and we could storm that secret base. We need more people. We need more training.

2-23-2044 Day 20

We started training self-defense today. My mom, the boy, and the boy's mom. There may be only 5 of us, but I know we have to make a change in this world. And if I'm right, the Maker created this entire apocalypse. We have a duty to stop him. I don't agree with learning self-defense. To win a fight you have to be on the offensive. You have to throw the first punch. You have to be confident with your strikes. You have to be quick. None of this is taught in self-defense. We'll see how it goes.

2-24-2044 Day 21

We gained another man and his wife. Jonathan and Holly. My mom found them wandering while out gathering food. I don't approve of them, but my mom wanted to keep them safe. What about keeping us safe? I don't understand her logic. What if we can't trust these people? I know we need more people to fight the Maker. I just don't like letting new people in. Hickory and Mildred are doing well in the self-defense class.

2-25-2044 Day 22

Sometimes life is beautiful. I woke up before dawn this morning. I climbed to the top of the trees in the dark. It wasn't difficult because the sun was slowly coming up. I sat on the top branch and watched the sunrise. No one was there to stop me. The clouds shone with a pink and purple hue. I knew I had to fight for this world, and I didn't have the time to get ready. I have to do this now. It can't be an undercover job like last time. They upped their security and their army is growing. My family is too important to me to stand aside and let the Maker control the world. Our world. My world.

2-26-2044 Day 23

We continue to prepare for the worst as if that hasn't already happened. Even worse than this. That's the possibility. When we storm the base, the Maker will either be killed or we will be. Maybe both. Tomorrow is the day. We have to strike before his army is fully formed.

2-27-2044 Day 24

We attacked the base today. Hickory, his mom, Mildred, and my sister Emily captured one of the Maker’s vehicles during a scouting mission gone bad. We walked into the base, wearing the dead goons’ uniforms. This guy runs the base military style. All the goons are in the same uniform. Gray jumpsuits. This makes it easy to blend in. So far it's been a little too easy. Nobody checks us at the gate. We drive behind a building and get out. We start running to positions. I got a good glimpse of the place last time I was here. Jonathan ran to the breakers, and Emily ran to the harbs’ gate. My mom, Hickory, Holly, and I took positions for herding. We had very few weapons because I believe anything can be a weapon. Mildred stayed at the wheel for extraction. We planned to rile up the harbs and pull the breakers. I'm hoping the goons will come out in confusion and the harbs will do the rest. In the last-ditch effort, we all had the guns from the car we stole. We'll open up on them until we get out.

2-28-2044 Day 25

It was too easy for a reason. I was captured. When we let the harbs out, they attacked the goons who came out of the building. However, Hickory and I were captured by the Maker. Everyone else got away. Hickory was injured and I stayed with him. We were able to fend them off until the others got away. The Maker didn't seem phased by the whole attack. He lost a lot of men. A quarter, maybe even half. They have more guns and ammo than I could even dream of. The Maker never came out of the building. This seemed strange to me. We are in a cage now. They let me have my diary and they gave us meat to eat. It doesn't look too appetizing but I have no other choice. I won't eat until I really have to. I don't trust His food. But I'm so hungry…

3-1-2044 Day 26

Something strange is happening to me. I ate the meat yesterday evening and my stomach has been churning ever since. I think it was spoiled. At least it was cooked. We have bigger problems. Hickory might die if we don't get help soon. My mind is getting foggy.

3-2-2044 Day 27

The only reason I keep this diary is to stay sane. I need that more than ever right now. I lost Hickory overnight. I need to remember why I'm here. The brain fog is getting worse. I have no one to talk to. I haven't been given any more food or water. I don't know how much longer I'll last.

3-3-2044 Day 28

My mom and sister are searching for me. I know this for a fact. But I can't remember my name. What was it? Was it Misty? I don't know. They haven't come to check on me since Hickory died and they took his body. Why am I losing my memory? I can't remember my first birthday party. Did I have one?

3-4-2044 Day 29

I don't know anything about myself besides what's written in this journal. Apparently I'm some sort of badass. I kill these things called harbingers. This man named The Maker had me locked up. I've been alone for 3 days. My mom and sister are trying to find me. This suffering won't be in vain.

3-5-2044 Day 30

These people came to get me out of my cage today. They seemed to be afraid of me. I wasn't sure why until I saw myself in a mirror. I'm a harb. That's what's been going on with my memory. Somehow I became one of the infected. Could it have been exposure? Could it have been that rotten meat I ate? These people who came to rescue me said their names were Jonathan and Emily. According to this diary, Emily is my sister. I don't recognize her, but I know I love her.

3-6-2044 Day 31

My entire life feels like a dream. I don't know what is real and what is fake. My emotions are going numb. My bodily feelings are going numb too. I don't know how much longer I can keep this journal. I'm surprised I still know how to write. My sister told me the battle is over. We won. They were able to capture the rest of the goons. Emily says she killed the Maker herself. I wish I could have seen it.

One thing I know for sure. If eating meat was what killed me, I wasn't meant to survive.

Part 2 — My Zombie Diary

My milkshakes bring all the zombies to the yard.

I guess I'm a zombie now. Calling myself a Harbinger seems extreme. I don't feel aggression towards anyone. I feel numb. I don't want to do anything. I don't need to eat. I don't need to sleep. All I have is this diary. I can't speak because my vocal cords are decaying. I can see, smell, and hear better than I ever have in my life. I guess I'm dead now. Undead? Sure. Why not. Anyway, I don't remember the date, so I decided to restart my journal as a zombie. So I guess….

Day One

I arrived at the camp today. Everyone gasped when they saw me. Some of them started crying. I couldn't comfort them. They got scared when I reached out. They screamed when I tried to speak. I don't feel loved or accepted. Everything has changed. They want to chain me up. Em is trying to convince them I'm not a threat. I don't know them. I just feel like I should know them. They cry out my name with guttural angst. One woman screamed like she was screaming into a void. She screamed and cried and refused to be comforted by anyone.

She came up to me after Em told everyone I'm harmless. She cupped my face in her hands.

“Oh my baby, my baby…” This woman was my mother. Mom didn't say anything else.

She crumpled into me and held me while we both cried. I felt her heart. She's my mom.

Day Two

Emily set out on her own today. She decided that she wants to find her own way in this world. She seems to know that I'm beyond help. She can't live seeing me like this. I'm so sorry Em. The harbs have quit attacking us since the Maker was killed. He seemed to have something that controlled them. A radio wave that made them all angry. A chip embedded in their brain. The promise of a raise. He controlled the harbs in some way. He would have controlled me. I'm lucky. If that's what you call luck.

Day Three

We all agreed that we should leave the camp and go back to the city. I don't remember the city. I don't know if this is a good idea. They don't have a leader. I guess my sister and I really lead the group. They all looked to Em, now they don't know who to look to. I followed my mom. We got to the road, and she jacked a car. She pulled out a crow bar, pried the door open, and told me the crow bar used to be mine. I'm picking up some very particular clues on who I used to be.

Day Four

We found an abandoned house on the outskirts of town. There's a fence and a couple acres of land. It was ripe for growth. A little cottage on a hill. My mom wants to plant some vegetables and fruit trees. She tasked me to find animals. Any kind of animal. They would all be scared of me, and I wouldn't get hurt because I'm physically numb. Win-win! We are wondering if I will live forever if I am not violently wounded in my brain. That's the only way we could kill the harbs.

Day Five

Turns out sign language isn't that hard to learn. I learn 50 words today including help, eat, water, and student. I haven't noticed anything different about myself. My mental health is very good. I have peace finally. My mom and I are safe. I'm just concerned about my sister.

Day Six

My sister came home today. She said she followed the road, and finally found our farmhouse. She looked in every house along the way so it took her days to find us. She has news. She tested harbs at the Maker’s base. She brought her tests back with her. 1 day to get there and start the tests. 3 days for tests to incubate. 2 days to find us. She got here as soon as she possibly could. Her news: Chronic Wasting Disease is 100% fatal. I'm going to die between 16 months and 4 years from now. That's 486 days. I need to make the most of my time. I've done a lot in six days. I started gardening. I started going out into the fields to eat groundhogs. I started crocheting. I'm going to start hunting and salvaging from the unfortunate dead. I have a full life. I'm happy.

Day Seven

Emily and I are going back to the Maker’s base. We know there's more there. There might be answers. I'll update the journal when we get there.

Update: We found a bunch of paperwork. Why did these goons have all this paperwork? We found the Maker’s office. It looks like a government office. Who was this guy? The drawers are packed full of papers. It'll take hours to go through them all. I'm glad there's two of us.

Update Two: The Maker worked for the government. According to his paperwork, he was Director of Population Control. It's a secret branch that isn't supposed to exist. The other paperwork is government experiments. They reprogrammed the zombie deer virus to spread to humans. The only way they could do that was to make humans eat the infected deer. They put it in public consumption and mass produced it. It was mixed in with hot dogs. Hot dogs! That's what this whole apocalypse was started with? Hot dogs? I lost my dad, my memory, my life… and… hot dogs??? Unbelievable.

Day Eight

I have all the answers now. The paperwork included information on the upcoming election. The Population Control Unit was meant to keep us in line. News of it must have been leaked to the press, but they conveniently left out the part that the government was behind it. Emily told me about the past 20 years. The last 5 elections have been rigged, almost a landslide. The upcoming election, a candidate other than the governing party actually had a chance. The Maker was instructed to attack the most populated areas where that candidate had support. This is crazy.

Day Nine

I'm going to publish this journal. I'm finally done with it. I have all the answers. We have no more predators to invade our safe house. I'm ready to move on. I'm going to live my last 483 days to the fullest. I'm going to continue my journal of my last days in another diary. This journal has helped me immensely. I'm going to forget everything if I stop writing, so I will see you again. God bless.

Johanna Spike, signing off.